Hilmer's Secret

'Inky' Quillager, Ideal Township

Hilmer had a bit of a mischievous streak that he’d worked hard to keep under control, but this particular spring, the streak took a powerful lurch and Hilmer lost control of it. Yep, right there in the garden, the streak took over.

Snickering quietly, he rolled those garden seeds over and over in his hands. Then, out of a little pocket inside the flap of his shirt, he pulled out a burlap pouch he’d bought from a hobo who swore it was straight from Johnny Appleseed’s secret collection.

A little spat on the hands, a sprinkly-tap of Johnny Appleseed’s secret powder and he had a dandy paste. Hilmer’s mischief was just getting started as he touched each garden seed to the paste before quickly popping it into the spring dirt.

Under the cover of night, Hilmer hauled the evil-looking espaliering trellises to the garden and went to work. Joined by the seven black-hooded members of the ancient fraternal group, ‘Espalieri-yippee-ki-yay’, they-along with Babe, the Blue Ox- dug furrows in the ready soil. Well, those special seeds stuck fast to the dirt and started setting roots before you could say, “Shot Gunderson”!

And, by golly, thanks to those magical master gardeners of the North, and Babe's massive furrow-digging snout, those special ‘appleseeds’ sprouted more than 50 yards up before moonrise. We can thank our lucky stars and garters for BOTH the new-tech design of espaliering trellises AND the potent fertilizer pumped out by Paul’s blue buddy, Babe! That 'earthy concoction' combined with those fertile furrows and today the locals call it Hilmer’s High Altitude Horticulture High Rise!